The rise of living alone has been a transformative social experience. It changes the way we understand ourselves and our most intimate relationships. It shapes the way we build our cities and develop our economies. It alters the way we become adults, as well as how we age and the way we die. It touches every social group and nearly every family, no matter who we are or whether we live with others today.
Eric Klinenberg: Going Solo. The Extraordinary Rise and Surprising Appeal of Living Alone
Thirty-one percent of UK adults often feel alone, as though they have no one to turn to; whilst a third of UK adults will not have had a meaningful conversation in the past week. Furthermore, more than a quarter of UK adults agree that they worry something will happen to them and no one will notice.
British Red Cross, 2020
We need to recast ourselves from consumers to citizens, from takers to givers, from casual observers to active participants. This is about taking opportunities to exercise our listening skills whether in the context of work, our family lives or in our friendships. It’s about accepting that sometimes what’s best for the collective is not what’s in our own self-interest.
Noreena Hertz: The Lonely Century. A Call to Reconnect
Although research tends to focus on the potential negatives of living alone, some commentators balance that with the opportunities it provides. Being alone can be a chance for people to refocus on themselves, their needs and what makes them feel good, including providing time to address frequently deferred tasks and pursue hobbies.
Eglantine Julle-Daniere PhD: Being Alone Vs. Being Lonely in Psychology Today
Living alone is one of the most significant social changes of the modern world. One-person households across the UK, Europe, North America, Russia and Japan account for between one third and more than 40% of all households.
The main reasons for living alone relate to marriage: of those who live on their own, people in their 50s and 60s are the most likely to be divorced but 34% of this age group have never been married and being single is the most common marital status for all other age groups.
People living alone are less likely to own their home because unlike couples they have less opportunity to accumulate wealth to purchase a home; they spend more on housing costs than those who live with another adult; and have the lowest well-being of all household types.
By 2039 the number of one-person households is projected to rise to 10.7 million; and while the number of people aged 25 to 44 living alone has fallen by 16% between 1997 and 2017, the number of 45- to 64-year-olds living alone has increased by 53%.
Loneliness is a subjective and negative experience based on the perceived lack of depth or closeness derived from interpersonal relationships; it is about the quality, not the quantity, of relationships. Conversely, social isolation is a lack of contact with significant others, community integration and access to services.
Loneliness is associated with a 50 per cent increase in mortality from any cause. This makes it comparable to smoking 15 cigarettes a day, and more dangerous than obesity.
The UK-wide Campaign to End Loneliness says that there are 9m lonely people in the UK and 4m of them are older people.; and the latter find constant loneliness hardest to overcome because they lack friendship and support networks.
The terms ‘isolation’ and ‘social isolation’ occur frequently in public policy discussions. Loneliness tends to be avoided by governments, perhaps because it relates to feelings and emotions, and the view may be that ‘the state’ has no legitimate concern with these.
The mental health Charity, Mind, says that loneliness can be associated with an increased risk of certain mental health problems, including depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, sleep problems and increased stress.
Mind also adds that people who live in certain circumstances, or belong to particular groups, are more vulnerable to loneliness because they may find it harder to form close relationships. For example, people with no friends or family, or belong to minority groups, or excluded from social activities due to mobility problems or little money, or experience discrimination because of a disability or gender, race or sexual orientation, or have experienced abuse.
The statistics and survey results on loneliness prompted the Chair of the Royal College of General Practitioners, to lament the existence of an epidemic of loneliness in Britain.
Background to the project: key facts, research and opinions
The adverse impact of loneliness on mental health results in loss of hope, energy and contribution in many daily lives that are spent in quiet desperation.
Campaign to End Loneliness 2020
Like all other primates, humans are social animals We rely on complex, tightly knit groups to function from the primordial, chemical bonds between mother and infant to the larger family unit to today’s massive nation states.
Noreena Hertz. The Lonely Century. A Call to Reconnect
Loneliness is personal, and it is also political. Loneliness is collective it is a city. As to how to inhabit it, there are no rules and nor is there any need to feel shame, only to remember that the pursuit of individual happiness does not trump or excuse our obligations to each other. We are in this together, this accumulation of scars, this world of objects, this physical and temporary heaven that so often takes on the countenance of hell. What matters is kindness what matters is solidarity. What matters is staying alert, staying open, because if we know anything from what has gone before, it is that the time for feeling will not last.
Olivia Laing: The Lonely City. Adventures in the Art of Being Alone